This is a journal where I chronicle the life of me. A girl who is constantly dreaming of the next thing, but who realizes she is blessed by the life she has.
Monday, February 13, 2012
I'm kind of like a hampster in a wheel.
Have you ever felt like you're not going anywhere? Like the wheels are turning and you're exhausting yourself...but for what? That's kind of where I am in my life right now.
I don't think I am going anywhere.
I'm watching my friends go off and get married, or accept really cool jobs, they are moving to new locations and, while maybe it's not true, it feels like everyone is living these awesome lives and getting things accomplished...and I'm just living. But it's not that I'm just living. It's that I have no one to share my living with.
I know overdramatic right?
I have an amazing set of friends. Seriously, I have no doubt that my friends are better than yours. I have an amazing family. They drive me crazy at times, but the love and support we give one another is unprecedented. All families have their issues...and my family issues are certainly unique....but my family is great.
But where is my person? Where is the person I can count on no matter what. That no matter what I do, I am who they will always put first? Obviously, all of the Valentine's Day hooplah doesn't help matters. Crazily enough, I've never been that girl. I'm fiercly independent....and truth be told, more often than not I've been the one scared of committment or the one screwing up....or getting cold feet. But, I think I'm finally ready.
I look back on my past, and I see mistakes I have made, goals I have accomplished, and I guess I kind of see where I want to be. Maybe that's the issue? Maybe, I need to CLEARLY see where I want to be. So, Happy Early Single's Awareness Day guys. Or Happy Valentine's Day to those of you who are lucky and in love. Either way, I hope everyone out there is able to spend Valentine's Day the way it is meant to be spent with someone you love....indulging in chocolate...and if you are super lucky...chocolate and orgasms.